THE UNENTHUSIASTIC CRITIC

THE UNENTHUSIASTIC CRITIC

THE HELP (2011)

"It's going to make me want to vomit. And you know, I always leave these movies hating white people, so that's just going to be bad for you."

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IT (1990)

"DON'T TALK TO SEWER CLOWNS!"

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FREAKS (1932)

"I mean, that would require seriously expert surgical skills, and most of them had feet for hands. So…I don't think it's feasible. "

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THE THING (1982)

"Fuck this shit. I would just kill everybody, day one, and lock myself in a closet. 'Sorry, but somebody here is fucked up, and I know it's not me, so everybody gotta go.'"

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THE EXORCIST (1973)

"It's not cool to make your mama drink your hymen juice. That is not okay."

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THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965)

"On your knees, Fraulein! This is what happens when you leave the Lord. Tweeeeeeeeeeeet…"

Star Wars (1977)
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STAR WARS (1977)

Me: "It's pure Joseph Campbell. It's a classic hero's journey."
She: "His journey is that his balls still need to drop."