A tight close-up of a menacing sloth's face and claws, from SLOTHERHOUSE
FILM REVIEWS

SLOTHERHOUSE (2023)

Godard said all you need for a movie is a girl and a gun, but did he ever really consider the cinematic possibilities of a sloth with a sword? The minds behind the horror-comedy Slotherhouse did, and we thank them for it.

Helen Mirren as GOLDA (2023)
FILM REVIEWS

GOLDA (2023)

As Golda Meir, Helen Mirren gives a showy but shallow impersonation, in a disappointing historical biopic more emotional than illuminating.

Academy Award statues standing in front of posters for the Best Picture nominees (American Fiction, Anatomy of a Fall, Barbie, The Holdovers, Killers of the Flower Moon, Maestro, Oppenheimer, Past Lives, Poor Things, and The Zone of Interest))

2024 OSCAR PICKS & PREDICTIONS

My choices for who will win, who should win, and who must not be allowed to win at the 96th Annual Academy Awards.

Denzel Washington breaks a guys arm in THE EQUALIZER 3
FILM REVIEWS

THE EQUALIZER 3 (2023)

Denzel Washington eats, prays, loves, maims, mutilates, and murders in Anton Fuqua's The Equalizer 3 (2023), a dumb and dour action thriller that is both unpleasant to watch and bad for the world.

OTHER RECENT POSTS

FILM REVIEWS

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (2015)

A review of CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER, directed by Anthony and Joe Russo, starring Chris Evans, Samuel L. Jackson, Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan, and Robert Redford.

FILM REVIEWS

NOAH (2014)

A review, in Biblical verse, of Darren Aronofky's NOAH.

FILM REVIEWS

DIVERGENT (2014)

A review of DIVERGENT, directed by Neil Burger, based on the novel by Veronica Roth. Starring Shailene Woodley, Kate Winslet, Theo James, Jai Courtney, Zoe Kravitz, Miles Teller, Ashley Judd, and Tony Goldwyn.

FILM REVIEWS

VERONICA MARS (2014)

A review of the VERONICA MARS movie, written and directed by Rob Thomas, starring Kristen Bell, Jason Dohring, Gabby Hoffmann, Krysten Ritter, Martin Starr, Percy Deggs III, Tina Majorino, Francis Capra, Chris Lowell, and Enrico Colantoni.

MISCELLANEOUS

TRUE DETECTIVE GREETING CARDS

A series of greeting card ideas, based on the gentle, life-affirming wisdom of HBO's TRUE DETECTIVE.

MOVIE LISTS & ROUNDUPS

2014 OSCAR PICKS & PREDICTIONS

My choices for who will win, who should win, and who must not be allowed to win at the 86th Annual Academy Awards.

FILM REVIEWS

POMPEII (2014)

A review of POMPEII, directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, starring Kit Harington, Emily Browning, Kiefer Sutherland, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Jared Harris, and Carrie-Anne Moss.

FILM REVIEWS

THE MONUMENTS MEN (2014)

THE MONUMENTS MEN is an artless movie about art, and a monument to nothing but mediocrity.

FILM REVIEWS

THE GREAT BEAUTY (2013)

Sharply funny, visually stunning, and with a generous heart, THE GREAT BEAUTY is an exuberant celebration of life.

FILM REVIEWS

LONE SURVIVOR (2014)

As a war movie, Peter Berg's LONE SURVIVOR is all war, no movie.

MOVIE LISTS & ROUNDUPS

THE BEST FILMS OF 2013

The Unaffiliated Critic's choices for the 20 Best Movies of 2013.

FILM REVIEWS

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET (2013)

There's a troubling marriage of technical bravura and moral vacuity in Martin Scorsese's THE WOLF OF WALL STREET.

FILM REVIEWS

HER (2013)

Smart, wise, and emotionally rich, HER turns out to be one of the most believably touching romances of the 21st century so far, and easily one of the best pictures of the year.

FILM REVIEWS

INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS (2013)

Inside Llewyn Davis is one of the Coen Brothers' most mature and masterful films so far, and one of the best American movies in recent years.

FILM REVIEWS

THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE

Director Francis Lawrence builds honorably on the solid foundations of the first film, improving the action but sacrificing a little of the moral high-ground.

DOCTOR WHO

DOCTOR WHO 50TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL: "THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR"

"The Day of the Doctor" is full of fan-service and tributes to both the old and new series, but at its core it is simply the next vital chapter in Doctor Who, one that fulfills what I have called "The Moffat Masterplan" and brings the past, present, and future of this show into glorious agreement.

FILM REVIEWS

12 YEARS A SLAVE (2013)

To say 12 YEARS A SLAVE is the best movie of the year is to damn it with faint praise, because it is a much more important work than that, a vital corrective to 100 years of cinematic lies.

THE UNENTHUSIASTIC CRITIC

THE WICKER MAN (1973)

"They’re hanging umbilical cords on trees. This is where you get back on your plane and let these people do whatever the fuck they want to do."

THE UNENTHUSIASTIC CRITIC

HALLOWEEN (1978)

"At least pick up something to hit somebody with! I mean, white people live there: there's gotta be a golf club somewhere!"