"When you traffic in this territory, however satirical or irreverent you want to be, it takes a much stronger empathy towards the material in order to be successful."
"I don’t need to investigate shit! Something ain’t supposed to be there, I’m getting the fuck out! Peace!"
"Ohhhhhhhhhhh-kay. Oh, No. NO. OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH I am out of here. I am done. No. NO. NO! Are you fucking kidding me?"
"I don’t like this director. And I didn’t like the remake. Therefore, I’m not really sure why we have to do this dance."
She: "That's the fakest ankle-stabbing I've seen in my entire life."
Me: "Just how many ankle-stabbings have you seen, exactly?"
"Zombies aren't really the way to scare me anyway…On the other hand: white people with guns? That's scary."
"Here's my problem with male stripping: I don't want your penis in my face. I don't want to worry about getting herpes of the eye. That is not a turn on."
"Burke needs to die. Because he's an asshole. In a vest. This isn't Outward Bound: why's he wearing a fucking vest?"
"Fuck that shit! Donate to PETA when you get home, but do NOT go back for the fucking cat."
"It's going to make me want to vomit. And you know, I always leave these movies hating white people, so that's just going to be bad for you."