The Unenthusiastic Critic
BLADE RUNNER (1982) The Unenthusiastic Critic # 18
The Unenthusiastic Critic has seen things you people wouldn’t believe, as she endures her first viewing of Ridley Scott’s 1982 classic BLADE RUNNER. Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
DJANGO UNCHAINED (2012) A Conversation with The Unenthusiastic Critic
A conversation with my partner, The Unenthusiastic Critic, about Quentin Tarantino’s DJANGO UNCHAINED. Continue reading
Filed under 2012 Films, MOVIE REVIEWS, The Unenthusiastic Critic
JU-ON: THE GRUDGE (2003)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #16
Continuing with our 2nd Annual Halloween Movie Marathon, “The Unenthusiastic Critic”—my wise-assed, horror-hating girlfriend “N.”—joins me for a dose of J-Horror as we sit down to watch Takashi Shimizu’s 2003 ghost story Ju-On: The Grudge. Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, The Unenthusiastic Critic
RE-ANIMATOR (1985)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #15
Continuing with our 2nd Annual Halloween Movie Marathon, “The Unenthusiastic Critic”—my wise-assed, horror-hating girlfriend “N.”—joins me for a viewing of the 1985 cult classic Re-Animator. As always, spoilers follow, so if (like my girlfriend) you haven’t already seen Re-Animator, and if (unlike her) you would like to, you should really do that first. Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
THE HAUNTING (1963)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #14
Continuing with our 2nd Annual Halloween Movie Marathon, “the Unenthusiastic Critic”—my wise-assed, horror-hating girlfriend “N.”—joins me for a viewing of Robert Wise’s 1963 haunted house classic. Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
THE EVIL DEAD (1981)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #13
Continuing with our 2nd Annual Halloween Movie Marathon, “the Unenthusiastic Critic”—my wise-assed, horror-hating girlfriend “N.”—joins me for a viewing of Sam Raimi’s 1981 cult classic. Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #12
Our 2nd Annual Halloween movie marathon—in which my girlfriend subjects herself to as many horror movies as we can fit in before All Saint’s Day—kicks off with George A. Romero’s 1968 genre-defining classic, Night of the Living Dead. Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
MAGIC MIKE (Movie Review)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #11
It’s not that I’m necessarily opposed to two hours of watching my girlfriend drool over men with bodies much, much better than my own, but it didn’t sound like a particularly good time to me either. I offered to go with her, but she perceptively intuited that my heart wasn’t really in it and agreed to go by herself. Continue reading
Filed under 2012 Films, MOVIE REVIEWS, The Unenthusiastic Critic
ALIENS (1986)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #10
Braless women kicking ass, black-on-black crime, and the perils of trusting a man in a vest: The Unenthusiastic Critic returns for her first viewing of ALIENS. Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
ALIEN (1979)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #9
The Unenthusiastic Critic returns for a viewing of Ridley Scott’s 1979 sci-fi classic Alien. Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
THE HELP (2011)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #8
My girlfriend and I sit down to watch The Help, and learn that there were no problems in Jim Crow America that couldn’t be solved with some fried chicken and a good old-fashioned shit-pie. Continue reading
Filed under 2011 Films, MOVIE REVIEWS, The Unenthusiastic Critic
IT (1990)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #7
“Don’t talk to sewer clowns!” pretty much sums up my girlfriend’s reaction to Stephen King’s “It.” Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
FREAKS (1932)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #6
The combination of cast and content made “Freaks” one of the most controversial movies ever made, and the controversy never really went away. It was considered so grotesque that many cinemas wouldn’t show it, and it was banned outright in many states and countries. “Freaks” only resurfaced—and was reassessed—in the 1960s, and grew to attain cult status as a forgotten masterpiece of early cinema, and as one of the strangest and most memorable horror movies ever made. Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
THE THING (1982)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #5
My girlfriend offers her critical commentary on John Carpenter’s 1982 classic The Thing: “Um… Oh…. …OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH……… OH, IT’S AN INSIDE-OUT GOAT!…. OHHH, NO……. OH, FUCK THAT SHIT! …..OHHHHHHHHHHH, JUST TELL ME WHEN IT’S OVER…” Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
THE EXORCIST (1973)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #4
With Halloween fast approaching, I decided we should honor the season here at The Unaffiliated Critic. I considered a number of options, but I realized that the best way to celebrate the season was to scare the crap out of someone I loved: namely, my lovely girlfriend “N,” who has already humored me as “The Unenthusiastic Critic” and could perhaps be roped into playing along. To her eternal credit, N. agreed, though not without considerable reservations. Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #3
The conversation around this film took some unfortunate turns, and, as such, this article should probably not be read by children, prudes, nuns, musical theater aficionados, fans of Julie Andrews, fans of Christopher Plummer, people who like The Sound of Music, people who were in The Sound of Music—or, really, anyone else on the planet. Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
STAR WARS (1977)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #2
“I mean, seriously, if Luke had died, I would have been okay. I’d have been like, ‘Oh, awesome! Luke is dead.’
If he hadn’t come back up from under the water, I would have been like, ‘Good job, trash compactor monster!’ Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
BLAZING SADDLES (1974)
The Unenthusiastic Critic #1
This is the first entry in a new series I’m calling “The Unenthusiastic Critic,” in which I enlist my highly reluctant girlfriend to join me in watching classic movies that she has somehow managed to avoid seeing. Read on for a fuller explanation of this particular form of relationship suicide. Continue reading
Filed under MOVIE REVIEWS, Older Films, The Unenthusiastic Critic
